Thr Price Of Doing Nothing

In all honesty, I'm troubled that I always seem to have an inconsistent response as to why it's been almost two months and I'm paying the price of taking too much time off. It hurts to know people who think of me as "all talk". As much as I've wanted to prove them wrong (been doing it for half of my very young life), the fact is no one cares if I prove anything or not... it just shows that I'm looking out and living for myself. Where I come from, looking out and living for one's own being is more insulting than it is an act of independence.

I'm learning things the hard way. Being busy whether in school, at work, or running a business is indeed stressful however life is simpler that way than having all the time in the world to think about the future and try to make ammends for past miscues at the same time. C'est la vie... we can't expect to please everyone we'll ever meet, most people are content to be mere acquaintances than friends especially after a long time apart from each other's presence, and most of our enemies will forget what happened in the past but won't forget about us. The more preoccupied we are, the less we even think about those things I just mentioned.

Just last week, a dear member of the household died. Barkley, a Japanese Spitz who's been with us for 11 years fell off the steps one night where he was usually leashed and got strangled by his own choker. I cried because I should have done something when I heard him barking quite differently (that time I was online chatting). His distinct bark was a staple in our home but when he sounded in pain, I didn't even bother to go out and check why. My mom blames the two helpers downstairs who should have heard Barkley first being closer to the dogs than anyone else. When my dad arrived, he called everyone in the house "useless" not just because Barkley served his purpose as the dog who barked everytime one of our vehicles were approaching from a block away (he knew the sound of the horn and its corresponding engine) or barked whenever the doorbell rang... but because he feels as if everyone (me included) in this house except Barkley (Muggsy the Dachshund is simply a "good-looking dumb pet") just lives to have a good time while he's out earning a living. I never admitted that I actually heard Barkley bark for his life. I feel so guilty after caring for him so much when he was a puppy. By the time we grew up, I rarely took him and Muggsy out for a walk. Barkley's untimely demise is a reminder of how far I've neglected everything else around me for the past couple of months.